I haven’t posted in a while but i have good and bad news…
The good news is i will be posting on my main tumblr about my issues, the bad news is that i post less things about Octopi. So feel free to unfollow this tumblr and follow my main tumblr at:
The place where people can see my face and know more about what i like.
My brother called.
A nice long talk with him and finally getting some food in me has calmed me down.
I want to cut again.
It’ll make me feel much better.
It’s 1pm, and today has already turned into a horrible day
Yesterday my parents went to Oklahoma for a job interview for my dad. Early that morning he was on a phone interview for a job inn California. Either way if he gets a job, that means we have to move…again.
Not only that but about a week and a half ago i told my mom that i want to be put on birth control. Not for sex, but for my cramps because school is starting, and i get them really bad to where i have to go home early.
But no, they don’t believe me, so now i have very little time with my boyfriend. They make my 13 year old sister baby sit us. We are no longer aloud in my room; even though the door is wide open and anyone downstairs can see us. Not only that but we don’t have anything on the bed but pillows, they can see how we’re laying and we are only in there because the downstairs living room doesn’t have cable. But no, we have to stay in the living room at all times.
AND on top of that, at his house, his 7 year old brother likes to come in and not leave as he pleases. Also his dad knows i scare easily so he likes to randomly walk in and yell to freak me out.
I think it sucks that i have no trust in my house. How can i make good decisions if my family assumes i make bad decisions and don’t even give me a chance to make good ones?
Sometimes i think it would be nice to start having sex and start doing various drugs and drink alcohol and party, i mean why not? They already think i am..
He doesn’t know it yet, but maybe one day i’ll tell him.
I lied, i’m still doing diaries, i just need somewhere to vent…
I feel so shitty right now, shittier than i felt before i started cutting several months ago, but i promised i wouldn’t go back to that. I need a healthier way to express how upset i am. I need to cry, i need to tell someone and most of all i just need a hug…
Or i could just hope my dad doesn’t get this new job, because if he does, it means i have to move…again. I really don’t care about leaving Kansas, i’d go to Alsaka or even China if i had to. However it’s not that easy, because i’m in love, and i don’t want to leave him behind, not ever.
I never intended on saying this, but i do have another tumblr where i’m not such an anon, so if you wanna follow that, ask me and i will reply in your inbox